Policing the streets: as easy as A - B - C

A moral dilemma for you:

Disaster! You’ve run out of milk, midway through making that cup of tea you had been looking forward to for hours. So what do you do? You walk down to the shop to get some more of course – it’s easy. But on your walk, you come across a young hoodlum kicking a granny half to death in pursuit of her pension. So what do you do? Well, that’s the problem, nobody quite knows…

Viewers of BBC’s Panorama programme last night would have hoped to gain an insight into the solution – the official word from government on what you, as a responsible and concerned citizen should do.

The answer comes from the minister for police and security Tony McNulty: "I think the general line must be to get in touch with the authorities and make sure that, if things are as bad as you paint, the police will be there as quickly as they can."

So, do I walk by, go and get my pint of milk, making a call to the police on the way?

McNulty to the rescue once more: "I think you should in the first instance. It may well be simply shouting at them, blowing your horn or whatever, deters them and they go away."

Ah yes, blowing my horn! Shame, forgot to bring it with me today.

Don’t worry public protector McNulty is here! Without a hint of sarcasm he offers: "Try some distractive activities” and when Jeremy Vine suggests jumping up and down, McNulty agrees: "I would say you know sometimes that that may well work."

So there it is folks – next time you are faced with such a dilemma jump up and down, blow your horn but for god’s sake, don’t kick ten bells out of him!